Feedback

Second draft of my skating video? Check. And though it’s still not right… I sent it to a friend for feedback.

Gasp. Shock. Horror!

I tend to hold onto my creative work for way too long, making myself so insecure and vulnerable in the process that I then stop and give up on the whole thing.

I’ve vowed to counter that. I’m trying to bring things out earlier than I’d like (with trusted people of course).

I’ve come to learn that it’s better for the piece to receive feedback throughout the process than wait until I think it’s ready. It’s selfish and egotistical to think that only I can make something amazing, completely on my own—that I don’t need anyone else’s feedback to make it better. Selfish because it’s intended for an audience. Why not get select members of that audience a chance to give their thoughts?

I don’t want to be the only person to watch my stuff. I’ve had too much of that already.

My friend is an incredible dramaturg who works with a lot of emerging and established artists. I trust her opinion and her expertise.

So I took out my piece before it was ready and had her look at it.

And you know what? I didn’t feel nauseous at the thought of someone viewing my work in progress. Maybe because I’m older, maybe because the world’s on fire…but my core was not shaken. Even if she were to hate it, that’s okay. I’m stronger now… and I know what not creating feels like. Not creating hurts more than having a trusted comrade tear apart your budding work.

She didn’t, by the way. She gave me some really beautiful, thoughtful feedback that crystallized a lot of what I was playing with in the piece. I kept re-reading her thoughts — she sent them via text — because it was rewarding to hear someone else’s views on something that has been personal for so long. Though I’m not sure how to move forward now, I know I can trust my sense of what works and what doesn’t.

Ultimately, I want the piece to be shorter. There’s a discomfort to the film, and if the viewer lives in that for 7 minutes, it might be too much.  But I need a few more days away to figure that one out…

And after the next draft? I have another friend I will call on for feedback. He’ll be my next target.

It’s been enlightening thinking about who I present this to and when. This next friend I wouldn’t necessarily enlist for every project, but I think his input would be invaluable in this case.

Perhaps planning rounds of feedback is another way to keep projects chugging along…?