Submission Pains

I decided that it was time to let the piece live outside of myself.

I submitted my doc to a small festival on the last day of 2023. It didn’t hit me until I woke up on January 1st that I had finished something I had been working on for more than two years. I was so proud. What a way to start the year.

And then I saw that the film festival had only watched two minutes of my 6-and-a-half-minute film. That’s what a £21 entry fee gets you! Vimeo statistics. Was it better not to know?

Oh, how it hurt. And the fact that it hurt, hurt even more. Gosh.

My first instinct was (always!) to blame myself. I looked at the precise second the viewer from the festival dropped off: 2m06sec. They didn’t even get past the first part. They didn’t want to take the journey with me.

I know what you’re thinking: you got 2 minutes. If you couldn’t grab someone in that time — an eternity by today’s standards — then it’s too long and you’re being precious.

I'm an advocate for short, sharp material: I often joke that if you can’t say it in 90 minutes, don’t say it at all. But I joke about it. A piece should be as long as it needs to be. And not all material needs to be treated the same way as a TikTok video. Not that there isn’t a place for TikTok… it’s like crack (I imagine?)

I doubted myself and I doubted my work — because a single person working for a small festival couldn’t be bothered to finish watching my film. Maybe they’re not the one seeing my 21 quid… and they decided that they were going to take back ownership of their time, starting right now with this very short film: cancel out of that window, and shut that thing dowwwn! Nothing personal.

I don’t want to be someone whose blood pressure rises with every insult. I am fascinated with people’s motivations — this submission reviewer meant no harm. People very rarely mean harm. They’re just pursuing their own interest.

So: I will not give my power to a stranger on the street, or to an unknown volunteer watching thousands of film submissions. My work deserves better than that.

I deserve better than that. I am a passionate lover of what I do. I am passionate, but not illogical.

My blood will not rise for so little ever again.